... No... This is not a joke.
Let me just walk everyone through why this is so funny really quickly. Okay, not REALLY quickly, because there's too much to point out.
1. Now, this may just be due to my anal retentiveness, or the fact that I'm a Writing Major whose grammar lacks perfection but is damn near close. In either case, just read the entire thing. Not even for content, just structure. Grammatical choices, non-existent words, that sort of thing is what you should be looking out for. And you will find it in abundance. I can't even get through 4 words without laughing just based on this person's lack of skills... at least in typing. Ping pong balls, on the other hand.
If you can manage to get through this without losing faith in humanity every 5 or so words, then I give you my sincerest kudos (but also hope we never meet).
(Isn't there an art piece called Abundance? That's just of fruit and stuff? I think it should be replaced by this picture).
2. Okay, now on to the actual content... ... ... What? Okay, let's go through this step by step.
"Please help me get it out". - Are you asking for physical help? As though you wish someone would come along with the jaws of life and pry it from your um... yeah. I love your wording here though, it allows for so much double entendre that I'm just sitting here imagining other lovely ways you might have phrased this. For example, "Please, join me on this journey of the introduction of ping pong balls into the human anatomy" or, "It's like giving birth, I need someone on the receiving end." Try making up your own questions at home, they're fun.
"no, i'm not posting pics". - Well damn. Because honestly I'd have to say the one thing I would want to see on Yahoo! Answers is your vagina struggling with this dilemma. Did someone actually ask her for pictures? And did she really believe them when they said they were more interested in seeing how it looked instead of just her naked? I'm fascinated.
"but i was trying to practice a cool trick for my man". - Oh, how truly devoted you are. Clearly the catch of the century. But beyond all of this, can you actually imagine how this entire confrontation might have gone down? Not to make this post any longer, but it must be done. Now we have two scenarios here, so I'll start with the first. PingPongWoman and her "man" are getting intimate, and instead of what normal couples might do in the acts of intercourse, she decides it would be fun to tantalize him with her ... capacity. By using a ping pong ball. Unfortunately it gets stuck, although this may or may not have been after they fornicated. The second scenario is my personal favorite, where PingPongWoman knows that her "man" is going to come home from a long day of work, so to surprise him for the nightly activities, or perhaps just greet him with a flying ping pong ball at his face once he walks through the door, she decides to stick it up there before he gets back. Although I do have to say that I hope I speak for all guys when I tell you ladies that... I just don't think ping pong balls are involved in any way with cool tricks that men want to see. Really, none.
"but it got stuck up there and its too slimey to pull out". - There just aren't words.
And finally, the clincher, "i dont want to go to e.r. or dr office cuz i gots no insurance".
- You? Don't have insurance? I'm truly surprised. Wait, I'm sorry, you "gots no" insurance. At least you spared the professionals from having to hear your hilarious tale of misfortune, and instead blessed the entire world via internet. You strike me as a true woman of intellect and pride.
I can't lie, there is much more I can say on this. In fact, I have a link to the actual page.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080313090644AAGf6t0
I will tell you that the thing that made me laugh the most is the fact that this is a "Resolved Question", because clearly one of these comments helped her out enough to the point where she could remove the ball. Thanks Jethro! And lucky for her, Jethro has been following her on this issue for a while apparently, visible through his question "STILL trying to get it out?" Poor Dannielle must have been at this for weeks.
My thoughts? Dannielle is actually this man's girlfriend.
http://i33.tinypic.com/359wy9d.jpg
When the baby came, it also pushed out the ping pong ball. Clearly the true recipe for success. Although, the vampire baby is still eating blood apparently, because that question is still unresolved :(
So thanks, Yahoo! Answers. I salute you most sincerely.
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